If you know me, you know I am always reading 2 or 3 books at all times.  I just finished reading a book called “Anything” by Jennie Allen.  It’s one of those dangerous books to read because it is impossible to read it without feeling challenged so if you’re looking for a book that affirms being comfortable, then stay away from this one.  

“Anything” tells the story of how Jennie and her husband came to a place that led them to pray this prayer “God, we will do anything for you”.   That is a dangerous prayer people.  You can’t just casually throw these words around.  Jennie says this about it, “(the prayer) didn’t feel fancy.  It wasn’t even a big deal.  But the prayer held in it a thousand little deaths.  In saying anything, it meant we were handing Him everything”.  

Handing God everything means that by faith you believe that He knows better than you do what is best for your life.  When your own ways seem wise and His ways seem foolish, in faith you follow His ways.

Honestly, I have prayed this prayer in all sincerity.  Let me tell you what happens.  Day 1, I pray the “I’ll do anything for you Lord” prayer.  I enjoy a little “me and God against the world” high.  Day 2, I begin to wonder what God is going to “make” me do and how much I will have to suffer.  Day 3, I begin to doubt that I have the faith to do “anything” for God.  I know that left to my own devices, I will dig my heels in and cling to my own comfortable, familiar space in life.  As the days continue to pass by, I feel troubled by my lack of faith in my good God who has proven Himself over and over to me during my life.  But I also find myself feeling relief that God will not force me to do anything or give anything.  Even after praying a prayer like this, I can still choose to change my mind, and retreat back into my safe turtle shell and say “just kidding God.  I didn’t really think it through when I prayed ‘anything’ but now that I have, I take it all back”.  

And because God is who He is, He will patiently step back and wait until I decide to poke my head out again.  He will not force my hand.  I have a choice whether or not to trust Him everyday.

I find that when fear keeps me from following God, it is because I am afraid that He will make a mistake.  I am afraid that the same God who crafted the earth and all the beauty it contains will somehow drop the ball when it comes to my life.  I am afraid that if I tell God I’ll do anything for Him, I will be disappointed with what He wants me to do.

I have to remind myself all the time that I don’t know everything (insert snide comments here).  I operate everyday out of my limited wisdom and understanding.  I cannot see what lies ahead.  Even when it comes to myself, I often am ignorant to what I need most.  If I live to be 110 years old, I will still have much to learn.

I’ve heard it explained that God is like a loving Father who offers what we would want if we knew everything He knew.  Somehow, believing this makes sense to me.  Of course God’s ways don’t always seem best to us…He has information that we are not privy to.  He knows the whole story while we are trying to make sense with just a few incomplete chapters.   It makes sense to trust the One who not only knows the whole story but authored it Himself.

So “Anything” is a prayer that I’ve started praying on a daily basis.  I can pray it because, in faith I believe that He knows what is best for me each day. There’s still some fear that comes with that prayer.  But Jesus said that He came so that we might have life abundant and I don’t know about you but I really don’t want to miss out on that.  So I choose not to bow down to fear.  I’m learning how to look it in the eye, acknowledge it’s presence, then put my hand in my Savior’s hand and walk away.