In my younger days I heard about how God could fill a void in my life.  Christians would say that everyone has a void inside but what did that mean?  Was the void sadness?  Was it emptiness?  It was confusing talk to me.

Sometimes the void is so familiar we don’t even realize it’s there.  Now, as an adult, I recognize the void that’s in me.  Part of my story is that I have a broken relationship with my mother.  We have been estranged for 10 years now but even when she was in my life, she was unable to meet my needs for nurture and comfort.  She did lots of things right and I know she did her best to mother me, but emotionally it wasn’t enough and it left a mark.  It left a void.  Voids can come from broken relationships with either parent.  They can come from not being accepted by our peers, not being loved in a romantic relationship, not finding success in a job, or not being able to have children.  But even when all of these things are in place, a void will remain because the world can never satisfy us completely.  We will always be searching for more.  Searching for that perfect love that heals all the wounds we have.  

I thought the whole “God filling the void” process would be something automatic.  You know, you become a Christian and schzam, void filled.  But that didn’t happen for me.  So I thought maybe when you reach a certain level of faith, then God fills the void.  But that’s not how it worked for me either.   What I didn’t realize is that God wasn’t filling the void because I was trying to fill it myself.  I was searching for a person who could fill the void for me.  I was not even aware that I was doing this and yet this searching was driving me in many of my relationships.  Some relationships were successful in temporarily filling the void.  But it was never permanent.  It was never enough.  And depending on other people to do something that only God can do, started to wreak havoc in my relationships.  I was expecting something from them that only God could do.  

But I’m learning that God does fill the void, just not in the way that I imagined.  I kind of thought it would be a one time thing.  One big zap and then a complete filling up of the void. Done deal.  But for me, the filling of the void is a process.  God fills the void when I invite Him to sit with me in times of pain, sadness or disappointment.  When I present to Him my truest self, my most vulnerable self, I am rewarded.  When I bring Him my “stuff”, I never walk away from that sacred space thinking that God isn’t enough.  Instead I walk away with the realization that there is a fountain that never runs dry and I have unlimited access.  Which is good because I need God to fill that void every single day.  

God is like the manna he rained down on the Israelites to feed their bellies.  He gave them enough every single day to be satisfied.  But the next day they were hungry again.  Again, they had to depend on God to fill their empty bellies.  Day after day, God brought them just enough food to satisfy them for the day.  Sometimes I wonder why God made us to hunger in the first place.  Why not create our bodies to be self sustaining, not dependent on food or water?  Wouldn’t that be easier?  But in God’s perfect plan, he has made us to need Him.  Not because He needs to be needed, but because He wants a relationship with us.  Our never ending hunger is meant to keep us coming to Him day after day.  The void is filled, then we become empty again.  In faith, we learn not to fear the emptiness because we trust in God to fill and sustain us every single day.  We trust Him to give us this day our daily bread.

How do you see God?  Do you see Him as a God who fills voids?  I’d love to hear your story.